This is what I assume is baseline, not sure why we need two whole minutes.

Joob and curriculum vigane

Just because people have the tools to do graphic design, does not make them good at graphic design.

“Yeah I’m rolling down Rodeo with a shotgun / we ain’t seen a brown skinned man since our country club banned one”

One more of theirs, a classic

Artist is Will Laren

Bold of you to assume they don’t ghost us before it gets this far

“Got a loicense for that mall ninja shit guv’nor”

What about my Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi which is really more imperial regalia desu

He and Musk have some Munchausen-by-proxy shenanigan vibes

I had a botched phone battery replacement once resulting in the phone getting replaced very unexpectedly. It was a nightmare trying to get everything back together because I stupidly used google authenticator, which is tied to the specific phone it’s on. Not tying it to the device is the way to go.

I put novelty testicles on all my vehicles. Trailer hitch, rearview mirror, keychain, dick decals that say “CUM and take it,” but I don’t let the balls touch because that would just be gay.

Felt Against The Machine

Unleaded tastes a little tangy, supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good.

When my 2018 MBP touch bar glitched and a replacement was the whole-ass “upper case” including the battery, I knew we were cooked. Meanwhile, in my old 2012 MacBook pro I’m swapping parts like a madman to enjoy it, like you should.

*the ones who will admit to beating their wives

Proverbs for Paranoids

1. You may never get to touch the Master, but you can tickle his creatures.
2. The innocence of the creatures is in inverse proportion to the immorality of the Master.
3. If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about answers.
4. You hide, they seek.
5. Paranoids are not paranoid because they’re paranoid, but because they keep putting themselves, fucking idiots, deliberately into paranoid situations.

—Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow

Thank god they don’t dump mayo— I mean, “yum yum sauce” — on everything at Waffle House